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Thanks to an obscenely expensive study called Britain's Understanding Society Project, we can all sleep a little easier tonight knowing that the solution to our relationship woes is a very simple ratio of youth, education and birth control.

According to the data gathered so far, happiness with one's partner declines with the duration of the union and with a person's age. Marriages are happier than cohabiting unions, a trend that rises for better-educated people. In turn, children are happier with their family situation if their parents are happy.

The happiest relationships are those less than five years in duration, between two people educated to degree level, who have no children and where the man is employed.

The decline in happiness is steeper for women than men. Overall, older people are less happy in their relationships.

Among men, unemployment brings with it lower levels of happiness with their partner, although income appears to be unrelated to relationship happiness among men and is only mildly important for women.

Wait, you're trying to tell me 20 years of research concluded that young, wealthy, newlyweds with no children are the happiest? That $80 million was worth every penny. Well done Britain, truly.