these strange days

I have fallen off the wagon.

I have fallen off the wagon in every possible capacity. I'm out of focus. I'm not writing about the things I should be writing about; the string of awkward dates, my mastery of gingerbread making, how excited I am about everyone wearing capes instead of coats (I totally have one) and how I met a marvelous boy last week who managed to snatch my attention from the things that need it and focus it on him, like sunlight through a magnifying glass. Sometimes I feel as if I might burst into flames. I feel too much - I feel too much and it's absolutely terrifying. Broody eyes and crooked dimples are bringing me to my knees. He cups my chin and I'm melting into his palm.

She falls, she's fallen, she fell.

I spent the last 3 days playing victim to the blizzard, making cups of darjeeling, roasting salmon in tinfoil, and sauntering around wearing little.

It was the first time he'd ever seen snow. That kind of enthusiasm is contagious and I've never seen Clinton St look so lovely. I did finally go home to my apartment today, bittersweetly. Tonight is the second night we've slept apart. I met him 10 days ago.

well they say can't please everyone

but i'm stuck on a winning streak

well today's there's clarity

and tonight i see tomorrow

all at one the winter's here

all the lochs are frozen over

-the walkmen--while i shovel the snow

So what does a girl do to pass the day away? When life gives you lemons what do you do with them? Gossip, hum along to Madeleine Peyroux, bake.

I spent the day making little Russian Tea Cakes, Hermes wrapped around my head, video chatting with my bookend. I tweaked the ratios causing them literally melt on your tongue. You're left with a little mouthful of buttery sugar and the scent of almonds. Tiny luxuries, like tiny victories, are the the biggest joys.

Ingredients

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temp

1/3 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup toasted and ground almonds (or hazelnuts, whatev)

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

Preheat oven 325, if you have parchment paper laying around, line your pan with it. If you don't, it's not a big deal, butter your pan just a little.

Combine butter and granulted sugar in a large bowl and beat on medium speed with an electric mixer for 1-2 minutes. Add almonds and mix on low speed until blended. Add the dry ingredients and beat until the dough forms crumbly looking little clumps. Don't worry if it doesn't look like normal cookie dough, it's not supposed to.

To form each cookie, roll a tablespoon's worth of crumbly dough between your palms into a 1 inch ball. It will sort of melt together and take shape. Set them down on your pan firmly so the bottom flatten a bit.

Bake for 20-25 minutes until the bottoms are lightly browned and the tops are barely colored. Let them cool on the pan for about 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cook completely.

Once cool, gently roll the cookies in confectioner's sugar to coat them. If you do this while they are still too warm, the sugar will melt and form a hard glaze instead of a powedery jacket. (I've done this) They keep for about 4 days in an airtight container, though they are usually long gone by them. Enjoy.